I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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