I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
