I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
