if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
