I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
