just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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