Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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