The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
