Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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