Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
