i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
