we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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