you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
