thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
