We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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