i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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