How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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