You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
