the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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