It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
