this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize