It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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