oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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