she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
