SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
