idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
