We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My bed is full of blood and feathers
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize