I have demons in me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
