I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
