bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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