Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
