I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
