And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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