Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
