I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
