Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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