i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
