That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
