I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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