now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
