is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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