dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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