Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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