there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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