i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
