My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
