sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
