You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
