I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
