oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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