At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you win again, gameday.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
