i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
