I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize