if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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