You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
NoShamevember. You game?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize