they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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