And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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